Almost 8:00 pm on a Tuesday night. It's a bit humid. Bones are aching. Muscles are straining as if they're trying to leap suicidally out of my body. Teeth are disappearing. I am 50 years old but inside I feel like a kid. Perhaps because I never had a childhood. Or something even close to resembling a childhood. That was taken from me by fools and crazy people a long time ago. Some are dead, some are in jail (or at least I hope they are), and others are most likely going through the very same thing I'm going through now ... aging. Which is not so bad really. We all must do it. But I on the other hand, have a different story, I'm a Christian, this entitles me to the comfort of an afterlife, and lots of things here on earth too. I own nothing, but I have everything. My life is not my own, but my life extends out to everyone. Or at least that's the way it's supposed to be. My life doesn't always fit that description.
I am the writer of Fender Saves The World. And the creator of many music albums on archive.org. I have fashioned Movies Game animation. I've taught myself to animate using Adobe Photoshop and Apple's Quicktime. I directed a jazz program for public access for many years. I've never had a resume. I don't have a business card. I can write a 90-page screenplay in a single night. but chances are I won't let you make me do it again. Money won't persuade me, it takes something else, something you most likely don't have. A certain blind sincerity. A hatred of all things insincere. A total and complete lack of greed. A willingness to walk away and forget anything ever happened. A willingness to stay away.
You say this sounds crazy? That it all sounds too difficult to comprehend? What difference does it make? You've got better things to do, better people to talk to, right? Yes. Of course you do.
The wall goes up, we are separated on both sides. I'm not bitching and moaning about it. Are you? No. of course not.
You've got better things to do.
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